Not Ashamed...

New Site

2010-02-08T13:08:00.000-06:00

I took the plunge, so if you would please update your RSS to markgrapengater.com it would be much appreciated.

Leaving Chicago...

2010-01-20T16:18:00.005-06:00

Far, far away
From those city lights
That might be shining on you tonight
Far, far away from you
On the dark side of the moon

I long to hold you in my arms and sway
Kiss and ride on the CTA
I need to see you tonight

And those bright lights
Oh, I know it's right
Deep in my heart
I'll know it's right

By the bed, by the light that you read by
By the time that I get home to say good night
I need to see you again
On the dark side my friend
On the dark side

Jeff Tweedy, the lead singer of the Chicago-based band Wilco, wrote the above lyrics. They suggest that while he was out on tour "on the dark side of the moon" he was "far, far away" from the one that he loved. His desire was to be with them, to ride the CTA– affectionately known as the "EL"– to be at the bed of his loved one. Whether his loved one was the Second City itself, or his lover who dwelled there, the lyrics don't clarify. However, if I had written the song, the words would have referred to both.

In the midst of packing– or procrastinating the process– I decided to write about how I would be missing this City of Big Shoulders that have been supportive to me over the past 7 years of my life. No wonder I'll miss it so. It's been my the hub of my comings and goings as long as my time spent in Tulsa. I have grown fond of this city, with its political machines, mediocre roads, amazing food, beautiful art, well-served public transportation, amazing people, great parks, heartbreaking sports teams, cold/rainy/icy/snowy/sunny/cloudy/beautiful weather, frustrations, pains, joys, longings, architecture, community... I could go on.

Of course, just as painful as leaving the city itself is leaving the deep friendships that I have developed here. Both in seminary and after, I have felt loved on every level and have made friends that go beyond merely drinking good beer, eating great food, watching Monday Night Football, walking the dog, playing poker, picking out great wines, celebrating the goodness of God, worshiping, taking communion, seeing live performances, cooking, serving, gathering, brunching, etc. It hurts my heart to leave these great friends in this city that I love.

Knowing that if for some reason, I don't return, I will see them again on an eternal scale is comforting. Knowing that "For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future," is foundational in me keeping any kind of composure through this transition. So though I may be far, far away longing to ride on the CTA, my trust lies not in the city that I dwell or in those with whom I dwell there, but in the God of Israel, who was their God no matter where they were and no matter where I am.

Scars

2009-10-05T15:07:00.004-05:00

I have a lot of scars and I've been adding to them recently. I have the requisite scar on my knee from when I fell off my bike in 7th grade. In fact, I have quite a few scars from biking– my elbows, wrist, legs. I have some scars from surgeries– most notably a huge scar across my belly from my twisted intestines surgery that I had before I was two years old (I could projectile vomit across the room!). I have some scars from spending my youth growing up at a dance studio– on the bottom of my chin; on my wrist, where glass entered in and nearly cut my tendon that operates my thumb. I have a few scars from cutting myself when I've been cooking at home. The most recent scar I have is on the back of my hand when I opened the oven door in the restaurant that I'm working at right now. The lesson: In restaurant kitchens, even the outside of oven doors get hot.

Most of my scars have taught me something. The biking ones have taught me to always wear a helmet; or not to go over a rock that large; or no matter how confident I get, I should not do whatever I did. Don't slide your hand down a glass mirror. Making sure the towel is completely dry when I grab something hot out of the oven.

The scars also tell stories. I can look at my arm where a scar is still barely visible and think back to when Michael, Steve and I were running around outside at the Kirk and a gate swung closed and cut my arm. I remember the great friendships that I had growing up and how I need to call those dudes. The scars on my wrist are from when I launched myself off the side of a mountain while biking on my sister's husband's bachelor party. I remember the whole weekend every time I look at my wrist and how my sister is now married to such a great guy.

But some scars aren't physical. Sometimes scars result from periods of our life. Unemployment can be a huge scar. Miscarriage would be another huge scar. A broken relationship; an F on a report card; a fight with a roommate; a difficult conversation with parents/friends/loved ones/siblings/the barista; the death of someone close; these are all scars.

Just like physical scars, these scars teach us lessons and tell our stories. However, it seems to me that God forms us most in our scars. We cry out for that relationship to be restored, for that job to come, for understanding at the loss of life, for wisdom on how to speak truth in love. Prayer seems to be heightened during these times. We learn more about ourselves, about others and most importantly about God. These scars form who God is making us to be. Scars are the evidence of growth and healing in our lives.

The scars are what Jesus shows to his disciples after the resurrection:

As they were talking about these things, Jesus himself stood among them, and said to them, “Peace to you!” But they were startled and frightened and thought they saw a spirit. And he said to them, “Why are you troubled, and why do doubts arise in your hearts? See my hands and my feet, that it is I myself. Touch me, and see. For a spirit does not have flesh and bones as you see that I have.”

...and [he]said to them, “Thus it is written, that the Christ should suffer and on the third day rise from the dead, and that repentance and forgiveness of sins should be proclaimed in his name to all nations, beginning from Jerusalem. (Luke 24:36-39, 46, 47)

The scars of the crucifixion did not disappear after resurrection. They confirmed that Jesus died and rose again. They confirmed that Jesus bore for us the punishment of sin for our sake. Jesus' scars prove that our scars too will heal.

Two Sides of Puppyhood

2009-07-06T23:17:00.004-05:00

Two weeks into owning a puppy and I must say, it is much harder than I could ever have thought. Oh, I've had dogs before and we even got them as puppies, but let's be honest, I didn't do the work. Yes, the work. My mom did. I was at school for the bulk of the day and would come home to play with the puppy, nap with the puppy and whatever else fun you do with a puppy. I didn't pick up it's poop though. Or clean up it's pee. Or walk it multiple times a day. Or discipline it for chewing on everything from my hands to the carpet.

Walking Hailey daily has proved to be good for both her and me. She gets some exercise of both her legs and nose. I get rest when she comes home and sleeps afterward. Every time I'm out though, someone stops me and coos "She's so cute!" There are two boys on my street that freak out about her every time she comes down the street. They sit down and let her lick them and they love it. "She's so cute!" People will cross the street to exclaim, "She's so cute!" She is so cute, but that's only half the puppy picture.

The other half is picking up her poop when on walks and when she decides to poop in the house. The getting up in the middle of the night to let her out, because she can't hold her bladder all night. The nights where she cries in her crate all night and you don't sleep at all. The work that goes into taking care of her. Training her. Caring for her. Loving her. It's work and it's not always joyous.

I realized that this is a lot like the Christian life. The work behind the appearance. The picking up of poop behind being cute. The dealing with sin in private and displaying grace in public. Too often these are separated and not lived out. The poop-scooping is hidden. Sometimes it's just left to stink and attract flies. Too often we just put forth our cuteness and hide the crap. I've become convinced recently, though, that we shouldn't bisect our lives in such a way. But that we are to live genuinely bearing our sins publicly to one another to display the grace of Christ more fully.

After all Hailey can't separate her cuteness from her poopiness, why should we?

The Brown Rabbit

2009-06-03T16:02:00.003-05:00

I uncapped my current homebrew- a personal recipe- which combines the toasty malts of a brown ale with the ever-present hoppiness of an IPA. It's alcohol content hovers somewhere around 9%. It's a big beer and I'm not sure it's completely ready for drinking quite yet.

I have two label designs that need an opinion behind them. One I did and the other, my design school friend, Chris, did. I won't say which is which. Just tell me which one you like better.

Photo Friday

2009-05-08T11:05:00.003-05:00

A couple of weeks ago, Micall and I headed out west to Seattle. I met her family and we had a great time tasting wine, watching the Mariners, going to Mars Hill and getting overwhelmed at the Market. A great time.

The second shot is out my window in the evening while I was reading. The light was really nice in the evening. The weather here in Chicago is great right now.

My Photography || Flickr Friday Photo

Just STOPP

2009-05-07T13:18:00.005-05:00

I've been thinking through what it'll take to fight against habitual sin in my life and I came up with the following acronym: STOPP.

S- STOP. Fairly straight forward, just stop.
T- THINK. It seems that when we get into the mode of sinning, we stop thinking. So think. Think about what you're doing. Think about the last time you did it. Think about how you felt. Think about the consequences. Were there any? Should there have been? Think about what you should be doing instead of sinning.
O- OBSERVE. Look at your surroundings. How did you get here? Back away from your single-mindedness and observe all that is happening at that moment.
P- PRAY. Sure, it should be first, but it never happens that way. Pray for deliverance from your sin. Pray for strength to endure. Pray that God would bring your sin to light and that you may be experience freedom from these chains.
P- PERSEVERE. That's what's promised to you- perseverance. Oh I'll quote it: "No temptation has overtaken you that is not common to man. God is faithful, and he will not let you be tempted beyond your ability, but with the temptation he will also provide the way of escape, that you may be able to endure it." (1 Corinthians 10:13)

This is no tried and true method, but hopefully a help to get your outward sinful actions to cease, while you work on your inner struggles that cause that sin. I actually haven't even had the opportunity to test STOPP out since I thought of it. But that's a good thing.

If you have other ways that have helped you overcome sin in your lives, let us know in the comments.

Music Monday || 4 May 2009

2009-05-04T10:30:00.004-05:00

An impressive bunch today, mainly from people that I know personally on one level or another.

NOMO first grabbed me when I went to see some friends perform at Schuba's last fall. The most succinct way to describe them is "hot horns." A mixture of jazz, funk and Caribbean rhythms, NOMO kicks you in the eardrums and you like it. Their new album, Invisible Cities, Pitchfork gives an 8. It's some impressive beats, so don't miss them.

This is a long live session, so put your earphones, click play and get to work.

NOMO Live session from Svetlana legetic on Vimeo.

My buddies that were performing at Schuba's? Cains and Abels. They put out a new album recently and it sounds really good. In fact, their so impressive, David's dog, Simon, sings right along with them–even when David's voice is just an mp3 on iTunes. I can't find anything of theirs to post up here, but you can listen to them over at MySpace.

Bob Dylan. Well, so I don't know him personally–on any level–but I picked up his new album Together Through Life. Pitchfork gave it a mediocre 5.4, but it's a good blues-based album from an essential American artist.

Finally, someone else I have had no personal interaction with ever, William Basinski. However, I was reading this morning about his album The Disentegration Loops. Tape recordings of Muzak made back in the 80s, he decided to transfer them to the digital format on Tuesday, September 11, 2001. As he was doing so, two things happened. First, as the tape passed over the head, flakes began to fill the air as the tapes had decomposed during their time on the shelf. Second, and more notably, Basinski starred out the window of his loft to see the Twin Towers crumble before his eyes, filling the NYC skyline with flakes of itself. He was supposed to have a job interview in the Towers later that day. You'll have to go to Pitchfork to hear this one too, but it's so worth the trip.

Don't forget about Steve McCoy's Music Monday; he always brings something good to the table.

For the Birds

2009-04-30T11:10:00.002-05:00

Since the weather has been warming up some, I've began to walk to and from my girlfriend's apartment. Usually the return is late in the evening, but the 15 minute walk gives me a good time to think and pray.

It's interesting to see what is going on at that time of night. The bars, which you can't smoke in, have people standing outside getting in their nicotine fix for the next half hour. The bar below one of the apartments I looked at is blaring ridiculously loud music, which makes me ever grateful that I didn't live there. Dominick's is pretty empty. All the other businesses are shut down too.

This seems to be when the wildlife of Chicago picks up. At about 11:45pm the birds were going nuts on the final block to my apartment. So much so that I pulled out my iPhone and began to record them.

I was amazed at the amount of activity they were carrying on this late at night in this section of the city oblivious to all the other noises of the city.

Solomon Vs. Hugo

2009-04-28T14:24:00.003-05:00

Solomon in Proverbs 31:4-31

An excellent wife who can find?
She is far more precious than jewels.
11 The heart of her husband trusts in her,
and he will have no lack of gain.
12 She does him good, and not harm,
all the days of her life.
13 She seeks wool and flax,
and works with willing hands.
14 She is like the ships of the merchant;
she brings her food from afar.
15 She rises while it is yet night
and provides food for her household
and portions for her maidens.
16 She considers a field and buys it;
with the fruit of her hands she plants a vineyard.
17 She dresses herself [5] with strength
and makes her arms strong.
18 She perceives that her merchandise is profitable.
Her lamp does not go out at night.
19 She puts her hands to the distaff,
and her hands hold the spindle.
20 She opens her hand to the poor
and reaches out her hands to the needy.
21 She is not afraid of snow for her household,
for all her household are clothed in scarlet. [6]
22 She makes bed coverings for herself;
her clothing is fine linen and purple.
23 Her husband is known in the gates
when he sits among the elders of the land.
24 She makes linen garments and sells them;
she delivers sashes to the merchant.
25 Strength and dignity are her clothing,
and she laughs at the time to come.
26 She opens her mouth with wisdom,
and the teaching of kindness is on her tongue.
27 She looks well to the ways of her household
and does not eat the bread of idleness.
28 Her children rise up and call her blessed;
her husband also, and he praises her:
29 “Many women have done excellently,
but you surpass them all.”
30 Charm is deceitful, and beauty is vain,
but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.
31 Give her of the fruit of her hands,
and let her works praise her in the gates.

Victor Hugo in Les Miserables:

Since her first appearance, the reader perhaps remembers something of this huge Thénardiess–for such we shall call the female of this species–tall, blond, red, fat, brawny, square, enormous, and agile; she belonged, as we have said, to the race of those colossal wild women who pose at fairs with paving-stones hung in their hair. She did everything around the house, the beds, the rooms, the washing, the cooking; and generally did just as she pleased. Cosette ws her only servant–a mouse in the service of an elephant. Everything trembled at the sound of her voice, windows, and furniture as well as people. Her broad face was covered in freckles, like the holes in a skimming ladle. She had a beard. She had the look of a market porter dressed in petticoats. She swore splendidly; she prided herself on being able to crack a nut with her fist. Apart from the novels she had read, which at times produced odd glimpses of the affected lady under the ogress, it would never have occurred to anyone to say: That's a woman. This Thénardiess was a cross between a whore and a fishwife. To hear her speak, you would say this was a cartman; if you saw her handle Cosette, you would say this was the hangman. When at rest, a tooth protruded from her lips.

Music Monday || 27 April 2009

2009-04-27T16:33:00.000-05:00

I'm a little light today, but check this out:

Nearly every time I turn the radio on and hear a great band and am unsure of who it is, 80% of the time it's Passion Pit.

Rockville CA: Passion Pit - Better Things
Uploaded by The_WB

Back in October, Tallest Man on Earth opened up for the Fleet Foxes at the Metro. Now he's got his own Take Away show at La Blogotheque.

Tallest man on earth - These Days (Nico Cover) - A Take Away Show from La Blogotheque on Vimeo.

Don't forget to head over to Steve McCoy's blog for his Music Monday post. It's always good.

Blogging Again

2009-04-25T16:43:00.002-05:00

After a much needed time away from blogging, I'm jumping back in the pool again. Don't worry, I waited my 30 minutes, so I won't cramp up.

Coming at you is a regular music post on Mondays, some thoughts on art and why we need it, and quotes from what I'm reading. I also have some recordings from around town. And of course some thoughts on the Gospel and what it does when our lives become saturated by it.

Photo Friday

2009-04-10T11:29:00.003-05:00

As many of you probably know, I went to Disney World a couple weeks ago. It was a great time to hang out with my family and my girlfriend. I took well over 1000 pictures, but cut about half of them. Here are two of them.

Many more are on Flickr and Facebook.

My Photography || Flickr Friday Photo

Photo Friday

2009-03-20T12:20:00.003-05:00

Last week the weather was beautiful and I walked from my apartment up to the Map Room. I took about 30 photos and kept about half of them. Pretty good for me lately.

The first is a shot of the tree that is budding outside my apartment; signs that Spring is somewhat upon us, despite the 30 degree temps. The second is from a mural at Division and Hoyne.

This past weekend I was in Disney world and shot off about 10ish gigs of photos. Somewhere around 1000+. It'll take a while to get through them all. But I'll be sure to let you know when they're done!

My Photography || Flickr Friday Photo

Photo Friday

2009-02-27T11:02:00.006-06:00

Today I bring you horses. Two shots that somehow I overlooked last week as I put photos up.

These horses live in Wisconsin.

My Photography || Flickr Friday Photo

Photo Friday

2009-02-20T11:57:00.003-06:00

I'm starting to get through some of my photos from my weekend in Wisconsin. It was a great time to hang out and relax with friends.

Photo 1: Micall. I added that lens flare.
Photo 2: Horse. Just wanted to clarify. I might do a bit more with this picture though. I feel like it's lacking something. Maybe more lens flare.

I gotta have more lens flare.

My Photography || Flickr Friday Photo

Bird and Letterman

2009-02-18T00:19:00.001-06:00

I tried to post this not too long ago, but there was no video to be found. Now there is:

This Weekend

2009-02-05T15:14:00.002-06:00

I'm heading up to a cabin in Wisconsin with about 20 of my closest friends. Actually, I don't know all of them, but by the end of the weekend I plan on it.

I should have some great photos by the time I get back.

In the mean time, take a look at what came out of another trip to a cabin in WI.

The Road Alone

2009-02-04T11:52:00.003-06:00

College was 5 hours away. Going to my parent's alma mater was a good thing. But it was always a chore driving back home. So for Seminary, I thought I would head up to Chicago, 11 hours away. Now driving home is really a chore.

I have spent a lot of hours driving alone in the car. Music blasting, snacks within reach, podcasts ready to go when my mind needs more than a beat to keep it moving. Only a few times have I missed an exit, or gone the wrong way. But I have always gotten to my destination; and usually in good time too.

Sometimes life mirrors those road trips. Though instead of 700 miles in the car, it's a 7 month internship. Instead of arriving to a destination, at the end you're dumped off on the side of the road, unsure of where you are and where you will be.

The last two days I spent with some good friends from Seminary. I got to hear of their lives and where God is taking them. Eventually, the question was turned on my professional road. "It sucks" was the short answer. I'm on a road trip without a map, without a destination, without snacks.

Monday night Ephrem Smith talked about being on the road. He told the story of the two disciples on the road to Emmaus from Luke 24:13-35. These two post-crucifixion disciples were approached by a man who inquired about what they were talking about. They began to tell him of the crucifixion and the supposed resurrection. The man with them explained to them how it had been prophecied so. When they sat down to dinner that night, the man with them broke the bread, and then they realized that this was not just a man, but it was their resurrected Lord Jesus. He had been with them on that road.

Not only had he been with them though, he had gone ahead of them.

He went ahead to the Cross. In so doing, he paid the price for their sin and brought restoration between the creation and their Creator.

He went ahead to the Resurrection. In doing so, he entered into the life that they were promised.

He went ahead to the Table. In doing so, he gave them sustainence for their journey so that they may be strengthened as they continue on their road.

He didn't leave them either, as we might think the story ends. The last three verses tell of how the disciples returned to Jerusalem to the eleven. They found companions for their journey. And not only did they have fellowship with one another, but the Spirit came to be with them also, as we read in the beginning of Acts.

As much as it may not seem to be, I am not on this road alone. Even as I sit in this church building with nothing but the Fleet Foxes and the hum of the lights, I am not alone. I have the church body, not the church building, to journey with me. I have the Spirit who guides me. I have the Word which sustains me.

So I continue on this road, knowing that there is a destination that I am headed toward, even if I don't see where that is. I continue on this road knowing that others are on it with me. I continue on this road, because Jesus has gone down this road and I know I will meet him at the end, if not also all the stops on the way.

My Life || My iPhone

2009-01-30T16:28:00.007-06:00

I'm only doing this because she tagged me, and it'll give me something to do.

I'm adding MySpace links. A lot of the songs are actually there too.

And my tagging is done on Facebook, not out here in the World Wide Web. That would just be weird.

And I would never use the above headphones for actually listening to music. For that they're crap. That would make me want to use them around my neck.
____

If you got tagged for this note, you need to copy/paste this into your own facebook note, delete my answers, and answer the questions using your own ipod.
2. put the ipod on shuffle
3. use it to answer the question
4. hit “next”
5. try not to cheat
6. tag some of your friends so they'll do the same

____

1. How am I feeling today
Flume - Bon Iver (Daytrotter Session)

2. How far will I get in life?
Jenny Was a Friend of Mine - The Killers

3. What is my best friend’s theme song?
Everything's Not Lost - Coldplay

4. What was high school like?
Greet Death - Explosions in the Sky

5. How will today be?
Mercy - Duffy (Where the crap did this come from? But I'm sure it's what I need.)

6. What is in store for me this weekend?
Leave Your Effects Where They're Easily Seen - Spoon

7. What is the best thing about me?
Love, Reign O'er Me - Pearl Jam

8. What song is about my parents?
Midnight Souls Still Remain - M83

9. How is my life going?
Nous Tombons Dans Elle - Dominique Leone

10. What song will they play at my funeral?
Free Fallin' - John Mayer

11. How does the world see me?
Opposite Day - Andrew Bird

12. What do my friends think of me?
Not Myself - John Mayer (Acoustic)

13. Do people secretly think I’m good looking?
Look After You - The Fray

14. How can I make myself happy?
Blue Ridge Mountains - Fleet Foxes

15. What should I do with my life?
Everybody's Changing - Keane

16. What is some good advice?
Violet Hill - Coldplay

17. Will I get married?
Pressed In A Book - The Shins

18. Where will I go in life?
Peace Beneath the City - Iron and Wine

19. Will I have kids?
Why Georgia - John Mayer (Live)

20. What is my current theme song?
Chicago (acoustic version) - Sufjan Stevens

Photo Friday

2009-01-30T10:42:00.004-06:00

I grabbed a couple of SD cards recently to see if I had forgotten anything on them, and lo, there were a couple hundred photos on one of them. I haven't even gotten to the other one yet.

And yes, I did use "lo."

This was mid-construction in December, just before Christmas. A lot has been done during January. A new floor, new electrical wires, other stuff. Still a very long way to go.

My Photography || Flickr Friday Photo

For You

2009-01-28T14:53:00.002-06:00

I don't know if was the screaming guitar, or the lyrics. I'll let you make that decision.

Colbert's Dating Advice

2009-01-27T09:37:00.002-06:00

My mom got me Stephen Colbert's Page-A-Day Calendar for Christmas. It's great.

Colbert's "For the Ladies" Dating Do's for Sunday January 25 is dead on.

During the meal, order something that will get his attention, like a side of bacon for dessert.

I can't think of anything sexier.

Neither can I.

Photo Friday

2009-01-23T14:15:00.004-06:00

I didn't think I would have a photo for today. I even brought my camera to work to see if I could find a shot. I didn't try very hard. I did manage to balance a mini-water bottle, a Pilot Precise V5, a Stanley Steemer business card and a Sharpie on top of one another. I've been very productive today.

But I have this photo of Michael from over Christmas. I took some shots of him and his beautiful and pregnant wife Katie. She should be having a baby any day now. So beware people: this man is about to be a father. Holy Crap.

I think he'll be alright.

I would like... 2009

2009-01-22T14:59:00.003-06:00

I took yesterday as a day to reflect in earnest about what I would like my 2009 to look like. I know we're three weeks into already, but that's ahead of the curve for me. I wrote out a few statements that turned into the formula of I would like

...to read through the Bible. I've done this before. Both in a year and otherwise. But last year I tried to commit myself to doing it and failed horribly. I'm continuing in Deuteronomy, but I hope to get through it in far under a year.

...to get a job. Yeah, I have a job. But one that I actually enjoyed wholly would be great. And this one's going to end in a few months.

...to have regular prayer and journal times. This has just not been up to par recently.

...to experience freedom. It would be nice to put to death those nagging sins that have hung around for too long.

...to be more involved. Really in the city of Chicago. I would like to find someway that I can serve this city and be able to get out in more social spheres (food, photography, beer, etc.).

...to revive my original languages. This is by far probably my loftiest goal, especially given the amount of energy this takes. But I know people have done it and I have all the resources. I just have to put my mind to it.

...to memorize Scripture. I had a really six months of doing this once, while I studied abroad in Costa Rica. My bus trip was just long enough to get through all my Navs TMS cards twice. Now I'll actually have to schedule it into my day. Which leads us to our next:

...to develop a rhythm. I wake up and scramble to get ready and arrive later than I desire most days. Getting to bed typically happens when I'm done with what I'm doing, or can't find anything else good on TV. I think I can do better than this.

...to not be dissatisfied. This one is hard to quantify, but I often let things that I'm not happy with continue to persist long after they should have been taken care of. That's why I just got my bathroom sink and dishwasher fixed after living in my apartment for 4 months.

...to run again. I didn't actually put this in my journal, but even with temps in the 30s, I would like to get out and run. But since May I have only gotten out a handful of times. Fortunately I can't blame this purely on laziness, but have had nagging knee and foot ailments since then. I actually enjoy running, but when it hurts just to walk, I'm not going to push myself; I just need to be healthy.

If you read this, you have permission to ask me about my progress. It'll probably be slow, but I have a year.

Scammed

2009-01-21T09:57:00.001-06:00

I got scammed.

Well, almost.

The church was trying to sell it's used pews at the site usedpews.org. Yes that site actually exists. The proposal was that the buyer a Rev Cole Morra, was going to buy 10 of the pews and send us an extra $100 just for the fun of it. Okay. Odd, but okay.

For about a month we didn't hear back and didn't receive a check. We had other buyers come and look at the pews, but no one's bought yet. I wanted to make sure that Rev Cole was still interested so I emailed her again. Oh yes, very interested still. Sorry for the delays. We'll get the money to you soon.

I get an email yesterday. We're sending you 3500$ for the pews. Then you deduct what else left and send that to our shipping company. Oh, wait. This was not the arrangement. This sounds more odd than okay. I explain in an email back that this is not the arrangement. She finds me on Gchat. Oh, crap. We chat. Nothing productive. More odd uses of the Engilish language. So I Google "Cole Morra".

The Usedpews website has a section on scams. They send you fake checks and get your account information. I emailed Rev Cole Morra this morning. We're no longer doing business with her.

We should be fine. We never received a check. But the exchanges do make for some entertaining reading.

Friday Photo

2009-01-09T15:58:00.004-06:00

Gosh I almost forgot. Today's been oddly busy. Not only is it odd that I'm busy; the day itself has just been odd.

These are my favorite shots from New Years Eve. The first one is my most favorite.

My Flickr || Flickr Friday

Real Sex

2009-01-08T16:00:00.001-06:00

In a Christian landscape, what's important about sex is nurtured when we allow sex to be ordinary. This does not mean that sex will not be meaningful. Its meaning, instead, will partake in the variety ofmeanings that ordinary life offers. Sex needs to be clumsy. It should at times feel awkward. It should be an act we engage in for comfort.
...
Our task is not to cultivate moments when eros can whisk us away from our ordinary routines, but rather to love each other as eros becomes imbedded in, and transformed by, the daily warp and woof of married life. For in household sexuality, we see the ways our daily human stuggles offer the only language we have to call ourselves to God's grace.

Lauren Winner, Real Sex, p. 81, 83.

Christmas Wii

2009-01-02T13:12:00.003-06:00

Both my sister and I got Wii-s for Christmas. I was surprised by it, cause I wasn't expecting one. My sister's reaction was priceless though:

While actual footage was not available, I was able to hire a small family to reenact the proceedings. The kid did a pretty good job, he missed a few things, but he sure did get Laura's smile down pat.

Original

A. Bird

2008-12-22T19:05:00.004-06:00

[For those who are wondering, this is not turning into a music blog. This post is as much of a thanks to Stephanie and Micall as it is an appreciation for Andrew Bird and his great musical talent.]

After Thursday night's awesome Bon Iver show, I didn't think my weekend would get too much more musical. But I was wrong.

At approximately 5 pm on Friday, I got an email from Stephanie, stating that she got some information from a friend of hers that Andrew Bird was playing a secret show at Ronny's in Logan Square. She couldn't verify the info, but her source seemed credible.

If any of you know me, I mean really know me, then you would know that many months ago, when I thought I would have to be leaving Chicago due to the lack of a job, my target date to leave this great city was the 4th of September. A Thursday. Who leaves on a Thursday? Well, it wasn't a randomly selected Thursday, but rather it was the Thursday after Andrew Bird played a free concert at the Pritzker Pavilion in Millenium Park. One of the more anticipated concerts that I had waited to see. It was the first and only time I had seen him.

However, this particular Friday Micall and I had planned to have our Christmas, go see the Lincoln Park Zoo Lights and have some time together. Alas, I would not see this show.

But upon mentioning this to Micall, she exclaimed, "Well, let's go! We can see the Zoo lights anytime."

YES!

Ronny's is a dive. A serious dive. One that sells PBR for $3 in cans (MSRP: $0.50). But as we waited through the sound check and starred through the glass door. Andrew Bird was sound checking his violin and whistle (his mouth). He played about an hour, mostly new stuff, and an old song that I hadn't heard before. It was great. And I was this close to him... Yeah that close. At one point, he couldn't find his shoulder pad thingy for his violin and I pointed it out to him. He head-nodded in gratitude. Yeah, I got a head-nod.

He has a new album coming out in January. Keep an eye out for it. And he's touring the US. He'll be in a city near you soon enough. Even Tulsa.

Missional||Church

2008-12-19T12:28:00.005-06:00

Chris has pointed out a great article by Alan Hirsch in Christianity Today's Leadership Journal that everyone should read. In the article, Hirsch rightly points out that missional theology applies to the whole life of the believer.

A missional theology is not content with mission being a church-based work. Rather, it applies to the whole life of every believer. Every disciple is to be an agent of the kingdom of God, and every disciple is to carry the mission of God into every sphere of life. We are all missionaries sent into a non-Christian culture.

Missional represents a significant shift in the way we think about the church. As the people of a missionary God, we ought to engage the world the same way he does—by going out rather than just reaching out. To obstruct this movement is to block God's purposes in and through his people. When the church is in mission, it is the true church.

In my current position, perhaps the most frustrating thing is that I am required to sit in an empty church building for approximately 30 hours a week. And while the word "missional" is continually described as what we are trying to accomplish, the fact of the matter is we are still expecting people to come to us. This is neither the way that God acted, nor expects us to act. Philippians 2:5b-8 reads,

Christ Jesus, who, though he was in the form of God, did not count equality with God a thing to be grasped, but made himself nothing, taking the form of a servant, being born in the likeness of men. And being found in human form, he humbled himself by becoming obedient to the point of death, even death on a cross.

And John 1:9-10a, 14,

The true light, which enlightens everyone, was coming into the world. He was in the world, and the world was made through him... And the Word became flesh and dwelt among us, and we have seen his glory, glory as of the only Son from the Father, full of grace and truth.

And the commission he gave us? I think you know where I'm going: Matthew 28:19, 20,

Go therefore and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit,teaching them to observe all that I have commanded you. And behold, I am with you always, to the end of the age.

But go read the article for yourself. And the Bible. And Kevin Cawley's Missional Church Beginner's Guide.

We'll talk after.

Don't call me.

I'll call you.

Photo Friday :: Bon Iver Edition

2008-12-19T09:59:00.004-06:00

I made sure I remembered my camera this time. I was purposeful in doing so.

And what do I hear as I'm waiting outside to sell my extra ticket? "No Cameras." Dang it. And while I felt comfortable sneaking in a burrito, if my camera got confiscated, I would not have been happy.

On another note. People: if you're going to a concert and taking photos, please don't use your flash. Especially if you're in the balcony. It won't reach that far. It'll distract from the lighting that trained and paid professionals have set up already. Turn your ISO up on your camera and convert to black and white.

The music was great though and I bought my first vinyl. I feel this beginning to be a long downward spiral. But a warm sounding one.

My Photography

Bon Iver

2008-12-16T11:10:00.003-06:00

Last April I received a call from a good friend asking me if I wanted to go see Bon Iver that night. I had a lot going on, but the stuff that I had heard so far didn't blow me away. It kept bugging me to check him out so the next week I did and regretted having "a lot going on" ever since.

But he's back in Chicago this Thursday and I've had tickets for a couple months now. Sold out show at the Vic. And it better be a good one.

If you haven't heard of him, then you need to check him out. If you have his album already, then you need to check out his special recordings.

Skinny Love on Letterman:

For Emma, Forever Ago on La Blogotheque:

#93.3 - BON IVER - For Emma, Forever Ago
by lablogotheque

Flume on TheCurrent:

La Blogotheque's Bon Iver Search Results. The first and third results are the videos.

DayTrotter Sessions (Complete with free downloads)

MySpace Transmissions Audio (Again, free downloads!)

Reflections on Advent

2008-12-15T19:01:00.002-06:00

Last night at Berwyn, the Women's Guild put on a Christmas Musicale; a Lessons and Carols service. Scripture and reflective readings were read. I was told I had 10 minutes for a sermon. That's normally a warm up for me-- or at least, I'd like it to be. This one came in at 11:45.

And the volume goes up to 11 also.

Download

Photo Friday

2008-12-12T09:26:00.004-06:00

Haven't gotten out too much lately, but here's some more from early November.

My Photography

Stewart & Colbert on Blagojevich

2008-12-10T20:32:00.003-06:00

[The language may be offensive to some.]

Stewart puts it in layman's terms.

The Daily Show With Jon StewartM - Th 11p / 10c

Rod Blagojevich Is a Jagoff

Barack Obama Interview
John McCain Interview

Sarah Palin Video
Funny Election Video

Colbert, well, Colbert is just bleeping gold.

The Colbert ReportMon - Thurs 11:30pm / 10:30c

Rod Blagojevich Is Arrested

Colbert at Christmas
Colbert Christmas DVD

Green Screen
Bill O'Reilly Interview

Freedom

2008-12-09T15:42:00.002-06:00

But these choices do not make matters whole-- the gospel does. Otherwise put, freedom is not an interior human capacity which needs but a homilectical push from time to time in order to function. Freedom is a consequence of the grace of God. Human freedom is therefore not a reservoir of capacity the preacher seeks to shape into a "decision for Christ" by means of a sermon. Human freedom is the capacity for choice that is generated by the gospel of Jesus Christ as proclaimed.

Eugene L. Lowry, The Homiletical Plot, p. 83.

Photo Friday

2008-12-05T10:50:00.003-06:00

He wants to marry her.

She thinks he's funny.

He has a girl's name.

She does too.

June 20th, 2009, she'll have his name.

He'll still have his name.

My Photography

Buechner on Advent

2008-12-02T11:28:00.002-06:00

The house lights go off and the footlights come on. Even the chattiest stop chattering as they wait in darkness for the curtain to rise. In the orchestra pit, the violin bows are poised. The conductor has raised his baton. In the silence of a midwinter dusk, there is far off in the deeps of it somewhere a sound so faint that for all you can tell it may be only the sound of the silence itself. You hold your breath to listen. You walk up the steps to the front door. The empty windows at either side of it tell you nothing, or almost nothing. For a second you catch a whiff of some fragrance that reminds you of a place you've never been and a time you have no words for. You are aware of the beating of your heart…The extraordinary thing that is about to happen is matched only by the extraordinary moment just before it happens. Advent is the name of that moment.

-Frederick Buechner

Photo Friday

2008-11-28T11:11:00.005-06:00

A couple weeks ago, Chris and I went on a walk. It was a nice day, so Chris drove down to my place and we walked up to Smoke Daddy's for lunch, then down Milwaukee to Michigan Ave. A brief visit at the Apple Store, then down to Grand and back to my place. These guys were doing some road work on Grand Ave, right near the Red Line stop. They were moving big metal plates to cover the big holes in the road. Every time they dropped the plates, a loud boom rang between the buildings, and dust billowed up everywhere. It made for some great shots.

My Photography || Flickr Friday Photo

The Table of Thanks

2008-11-27T10:50:00.002-06:00

I preached last night at Berwyn for their Thanksgiving [eve] service. Have a listen.

Download

Best. Friend. Ever.

2008-11-26T12:00:00.002-06:00

"Is that what you guys do?"
"What?"
"Leave funny voicemails for each other."
"Yes."

Tips for Thanksgiving

2008-11-25T12:19:00.002-06:00

I'm preparing a sermon for Thanksgiving and have been plundering the depths of the internet's knowledge on Thanksgiving, which is really just "googling" Thankgiving. The most ironic thing about Thanksgiving has to be thanksgivingnovember.com's post on how not to overeat on this last Thursday in November.

Drink Water
Eat the Fresh Salad
Have a small meal before the Turkey
Eat the Turkey
Savor the Fresh Cranberries
Don't forget to excercise

Somehow this all seems to go directly in the face of what Thanksgiving is really all about.

Photo Friday

2008-11-21T09:57:00.005-06:00

About a month and a half now Chris and I went up to Wisconsin on a Monday because we can and we heard they had apples. Apples they did have and then we had and then we ate the apples and now we have no more. But I still have about 250 photos that I haven't gone through from that day that I need to. I figured two would be a good start.

Yes, I realize there are no apples in these photos.

My Photography || Flickr Friday Photo

Facebook Ads

2008-11-20T14:15:00.001-06:00

I'm trying to figure out how Facebook is marketing to me.

The Reversal

2008-11-19T14:52:00.003-06:00

One does not begin with the idea that we have in the New Testament verbal statements that are obscure into what we must introduce the light of understanding; rather, one listens to the Word hopeful that it will shed light on our own situation which is obscure. The Word of God is not interpreted; it interprets.

Fred B Craddock, As One Without Authority, quoted in Eugene Lowry's The Homiletical Plot, p. 71.

Listening to...

2008-11-19T10:48:00.004-06:00

I'm really enjoying me some Greg Laswell right now. A [swallow] friend pointed me to him. I'm a big fan of David Grey and he has a similar sound to him. He was recently featured on Grey's Anatomy with his song What a Day.

I'm really digging Comes and Goes:

And How the Day Sounds:

And my [swallow] friend really likes his version of Girls Just Wanna Have Fun:

I'm looking forward to seeing him at Schuba's tonight with my [swallow] friend.

Obama + Economics = ?

2008-11-09T22:26:00.003-06:00

There has been a lot of talk about Obama and a new economic plan that would come with his presidency. Now that he has been elected, you can be sure there will be. So, as my most political blog entry to date, I thought of these today in the car and decided I'd coin them now. So when you hear them in a few months, just remember, you heard them here first.

Obama + Economics = Obamanomics

Barack + Economics = Baraconomics

Either are useful. But which is your favorite?

Laura's Engagement Photos

2008-11-08T10:02:00.001-06:00

My sister got engaged about a month ago and engagement pics were taken and put up.

Friday Photo

2008-11-07T12:22:00.004-06:00

A couple of photos I took around Bethel. The first is an old speaker in the nursury that would broadcast the sermons downstairs. Neither of which are being used now. The second is of old hymn booklets that are from the 1950s. They have quite a few of them. They're not used either.

Bethel's been an interesting place to photograph. One that's been stilled in time for some years now. It's getting to the end of its time though. This Sunday we're holding a Celebration Service for Bethel Reformed Church to commemorate the 100+ years it has been around. Then we're dissolving the entity of Bethel to be reborn a month-ish later to be CrossRoads Community Church. Hopefully God will bless the work that is being done and transform the community here.

My Photography || Friday Photo

The Drama

2008-10-31T14:43:00.002-05:00

Our competence as readers–as witnesses who attest to "what we have seen and heard"; as jury members seeking to do justice to the evidence–is what is on trial every time we interpret the Bible. For we attest what we believe–about texts, about God, about ourselves–in each and every one of our interpretations. The trial of interpretation ultimately concerns not the text but the interpreter: Will the readers respond to the word of the Lord appropriately or not?

Doctrine helps the people of God to participate fittingly in the drama of redemption, and so to be true and faithful witnesses to God's incarnate wisdom. . . Viewed against this backdrop, the church is less the cradle of Christian theology than its crucible: the place where the community's understanding of faith is lived, tested, and reformed.

Vanhoozer, The Drama of Doctrine, 21, 25.

Photo Friday: October 31

2008-10-31T12:08:00.005-05:00

October 31st is more than just Halloween in my family. When we lived in Edmond, OK, my dad would decorate our house throughout the whole month of October leading up to Halloween. He had servos and strobe lights and miles of fishing line. All this added up to moving decorations in the windows: witches floating up and down and skeletons dancing. But the real excitement was taking place on the inside.

The foyer was transformed into a seating area for ghouls, gorillas, and giants, but the famed "Bonesy" was the one who lead the show. The kids would line up down the front walk and on to the sidewalk to wait to get in on the action-- and by action, I mean "get the piss scared out of them." Upon entering the house, there would be a monster and a gorilla seated in front of you. A 7 foot tall monster was standing off to the left. Dead in the center was the candy pot and not so dead behind it was Bonesy, a talking skull. Bach's Toccatta and Fugue in D minor would be playing in the background. Once the door was closed behind the kids, Bonesy would begin the show. Introducing them to each of the monsters around them. The older kids would play it cool, sitting on the various monsters and exclaiming inexhaustibly how they weren't scared. Eventually a rhyme came that they had to solve. Their attention would be directed to the stair landing where a strobe would reveal a gruesome scene and capture their attention long enough for the youth pastor in the gorilla suit to stand up to his own 6' 8" with his hands raised above him and styrofoam peanuts to blow out of the 7' monsters mouth. Blood-curdling screams would emit from the "coolest" of kids. Many moms that came through tinkled themselves.

I remember wanting to go in the front door after a night of trick or treating and my dad was still dressed up. He came out to greet me, using his own voice, rather than the digitally processed one. I had nothing to do with him and countered his approach with my own retreat. I wasn't cool. I was scared. And I didn't care who this man said he was, I'd been witness to what happened throughout the night. I wasn't going to fall for it.

But my dad didn't put on the production just for the pure joy of scaring hundreds of kids and adults throughout the night. It was also his birthday. And still is. So Happy Birthday Dad. Here's to many more years of scaring bowel movements out of both the young and the old.

My Photography || Flickr Friday Photo

Friday Photo

2008-10-24T14:07:00.006-05:00

Early this week my friend Chris and I met up at IKEA, so I could take back my flat-packed furniture I decided would just not hold all my clothes. Sad, I know. But after unloading the still boxed fake wood furniture, we hopped in Chris' car and headed north, leaving the city. It is a difficult task to leave Chicago. It takes effort and planning. Neither of which we really did. But with little more than some directions scrawled on a scrap of paper, we headed north in search of fall color and apples. We did find both, at a small little orchard, nearly sold out of many of the varieties already, near Sugar Creek, Wisconsin. We also found this little country church. It seems to have more property than the church that I'm currently at, and way more than the church I was previously a part of and the one that Chris still attends. It's great to see country churches still expanding and reaching the community around them. It would be great to see that where I am.

My Photography || Flickr Friday Photo

Sermon as Narrative

2008-10-23T16:26:00.003-05:00

Everybody loves a good story. What if every Sunday pastors stood up and told the most captivating story ever told.

[T]here is almost always a sudden change whenever the speaker launches into a narrative. The audience becomes suddenly quiet, forgetting even to cough, sniff, or squirm, as the tale is spun. When they understand that it is over (and that now the speaker will draw his moral, make important announcements, etc.), the change back to coughing, sniffing, and squirming is equally as sudden.

Actually, it hardly matters what kind of story, how good, how funny it is, how moving it is, or how well it is told. Ther is something almost automatically captivating about a story that catches our minds and makes us forget to breathe until it is over."

[The] sharp delineation between story and "regular" preaching is unnecessary. . . A sermonic idea is a homiletical bind; a sermon is a narrative plot!

G. William Jones, The Innovator, quoted in Eugene Lowry's The Homiletical Plot, p. 13, 14. (The last paragraph is Lowry's reaction.)

The New Evangelism

2008-10-22T15:04:00.002-05:00

While I'm reading about how to be the missional church and effectively reach the community around the church, some are taking another approach to reaching their neighborhoods.

"Remember, if a person's coming to Jesus on crutches, they're still coming to Jesus."

VoiceMail

2008-10-18T14:37:00.005-05:00

If you're reading this in an RSS feeder, you may have to click through to hear the audio.

I thought I'd share with you some recent voicemails.

I called my grandpa the other day and he was calling me back. I like how he identifies which grandpa he is, so I don't have to guess.

This is an old one from my birthday, but I kept it because I loved it so much. I love my sister and am very thankful for her in my life.

Michael, or Jimmy. He actually guessed right.; it was the second one. I was at the Fleet Foxes concert and the opener was amazing in so many ways. He may have been on the Oh, Brother, Where Art Thou? Soundtrack. I always leave Michael entertaining messages, and he never disappoints me either.

Photo Friday

2008-10-17T08:55:00.004-05:00

Yeah, I know, I'm early. Trying to make up for all the weeks I didn't post, or posted way late. It is called Photo Friday .

I work at this church. It has two signs outside. One very obvious and pointing toward the neigborhood. The other is more subtle. It's smaller and is on the side of the building. But it's still there and may speak louder than the other.

My Flickr || Friday Photo

Reflections of a Young Pastor #1

2008-10-15T14:24:00.004-05:00

I've been in my position at Bethel Reformed Church for about a month and a half now and it's been an interesting one. Full of challenges both personally and professionally-- which for me are kind of blurred together. I have yet to figure out what my overall role is and at times feel like a triangle peg in an obtuse hole. Church revitalization is a mad, mad beast that has no reigns. At times it can get very disheartening. Those who have talked to me in the last couple of weeks have certainly heard of my struggles. But where, I ask, where is the hope in all of this?

1 Timothy 4:10 has an answer:

For to this end we toil and strive, because we have our hope set on the living God, who is the Savior of all people, especially of those who believe.

If I look to any place other than God for my satisfaction in the task at hand, then I misplace my focus and make that my God. Whether I'm looking to how well I preach or how many people are coming to the church, then I have misplaced priorities and I make something other than God god. Scripture calls that idolatry and we do it all the time, regardless of our intentions.

But if I'm placing my hope on the living God that He will move in his time and in His ways, then all that I do is a reflection of this hope, a patient expectation of what God is doing. If I try to move things in my timing, if I continue to be frustrated at my sermons, if I continue to agonize over the things that I cannot control, I will never recognize where God is moving and how He is shaping me to be the pastor that He has called me to be-- not my ideal of what I am to be.

Even at 27 years of age, it becomes frustrating to think of how much longer it will take to come into "my own." But in reality, I should never come into "my own," but always be pushing on toward Jesus and drawing nearer to him.

That I may never think I have arrived, but always seek to draw closer to my Savior.

The Internet

2008-10-14T12:05:00.003-05:00

I've been working at a church for the past 6 weeks or so and as amazing as it may seem, we just got the internet.

Well, to be fair and honest, we didn't just get the internet. We had dial-up. Yes, I said "dial-up." You remember the days, when you sat down at the big beige machine and waited 10 minutes to get to some semblance of what we call the internet now. Remember waiting through "bee bee bee bee, brr brr brr, BSHSHSHSHSHSH." During which you go grab a drink of water, do some laundry, maybe run to the store, grab some groceries, come home, fold the laundry, put together your IKEA furniture, get an eye exam, maybe a root canal. Anything to occupy your time, while your computer seeks to "log on."

Maybe the irony in all of this, is not that I didn't have the internet when in the office, but that my computer, my 4 month old MacBook Pro, with all its bells and whistles, in all its Apple Glory, can't get on the internet. It's not that it won't get on the internet. It's that it can't. I mean can't in the purest sense of "lacking the ability to." I mean can't in the same way that you used to correct your friend when they asked, "Can I use the bathroom?" "I don't know, Can you?"

Oh it can go wireless. I can tap into any WiFi enabled Starbucks at 100 yards. I can surf the internet at breakneck speeds with a LAN cable. But when it comes to dial-up, that technology is so old that my computer is not that "backwards compatible." In other words, I have no modem. "Dial up," in the words of a wise, wise man, "is worst than no internet at all."

But I have the internet now. High-speed. Wireless. Flashing green lights. Always on. And am free to waste more on it than ever before.

Friday Photo

2008-10-11T14:33:00.004-05:00

Yeah, yeah, I'm late.

I keep wishing that I had my camera with me almost everyday when I left for work or just to hang out. So when I stepped out to go to dinner on Thursday night, I decided I'd take it with me. I found this bike just waiting to be photographed. Beware of the Rat Patrol.

My Photography || Flickr Friday

Everyone Hates On the Cubs

2008-10-10T15:14:00.004-05:00

I still love them. Disappointed. Let down. Doubtful. But still amazed.

The Drama

2008-10-08T10:13:00.003-05:00

I got a new book in the mail yesterday. Saturday I was talking to my old roommate-- old referring both to rooming with him in the past and his decrepit and crotchety nature-- and he told me about the "big orange pumkin" that is The Drama of Doctrine by Kevin Vanhoozer.

I read the Preface last night and I'm really looking forward to getting through it, especially since I haven't read an entire book that wasn't on a syllabus in quite a few years. And even then...

What's this book about? In Vanhoozer's words:

The Drama of Doctrine argues that there is no more urgent task in the church than to demonstrate faith's understanding by living truthfully with others before God. It further argues that doctrine is an indispensable aid to understanding and and to truthful living. Doctrine is a vital ingredient in the well-being of the church, a vital aid to the public witness. The problem is not with the doctrine per se but with a picture of doctrine, or perhaps several pictures, that have held us captive.

(Vanhoozer, xii)

DGM Conference Messages

2008-10-06T13:40:00.004-05:00

I didn't get to go to the Desiring God National Conference this year, but thankfully God has blessed us with the internet and digital recording capabilities, so that, even though not being there, the messages can be passed on forever. Or until the server crashes.

I've listened to two of the speakers so far: Mark Driscoll and Dan Taylor. Dan's message, on Story, is extremely important for the those of us who are seeking to relate the Gospel in a way that impacts beyond head knowledge.

Go check them out.

Photo Friday

2008-09-26T17:23:00.003-05:00

Friday Photo is BACK!

I was able to get through some old photos this past week. The above photo is one that I took the first day I was at Bethel. The second is when I was in Bent Harbor, MI, getting assessed. The photos may have turned out better than the assessment.

My Photography || Flickr Friday Photos

Photo Friday

2008-09-05T13:04:00.002-05:00

Pastor's Study, originally uploaded by notashamed.

Yeah, I took a little hiatus through August and have had very little internet access since moving off campus into my temporary residence.

I started working though and went around the church and took a bunch of pictures. I'm going to try to incorporate them into my sermon next Sunday. I hope it drives the point home. It should.

My Photography

Church Website

2008-09-03T15:27:00.002-05:00

A church without a website is a surprising thing. When I first got up to Chicago, I did my preliminary checks on churches in my area by getting on their websites. Some were better than others, but just that they had them gave me an idea of their existence.

All that to say, I just got on board with a church located near Midway in Chicago and they, er, we have no website. So my question goes out to all five of you reading this: What would you like to see in a church website? What would be your top five most desired elements? If you've created a church website before, what did you put into it? And finally, what should not be on a church website?

Wii Danger

2008-08-12T16:01:00.001-05:00

I want a dog very, very badly. I'd also like a Wii. I think I'll have to make a clear choice between the two.

Empty Hands

2008-08-12T11:26:00.003-05:00

Faith is not something we give to God. In that case, faith would be a work, and a silly kind of work because it would be work we do even though it doesn't benefit anyone. But exactly the opposite is true. To have faith in God is to be "without works" before God. Faith is the way we as receivers relate apporpriately to God as the giver It is empty hands held open for God to fill.
...
Faith tells us that we do not exist simply to live our three score and ten years without pain, with ease and enjoyment, to accumulate possessions, power or knowledge, to receive accolades and enlarge our egos. How empty such a life would be! Faith is an expression of the fact that we exist so that the infinite God can dwell in us and work through us for the well-being of the whole creation. If faith denies anything, it denies that we are tiny, self-absorbed specks of matter who are reaching for the stars but remain hopelessly nailed to the earth stuck in our own self-absorption. Faith is the first part of the bridge from self-centeredness to generosity.

Volf, Free of Charge, 44, 45.

Preacher Man

2008-08-11T18:04:00.014-05:00

So it's been about 2 years since I've preached what I would call a real sermon. I came to this realization this past Friday as I was preparing my sermon for yesterday. Such a thrilling and daunting task. I gave it at a church that just after the service was deciding whether or not they were going to stay open or close their doors.

And while I don't know the outcome of their decision, the sermon seemed to go well though. You can make up your mind about that though.

I welcome any and all feedback.

Download

Ephesians Quote

2008-08-07T17:17:00.002-05:00

The picture the text paints is bleak. Because of sins humans are the living dead. They live in keeping with a world that ignores God and in keeping with a tyrant who works to cause disobedience. In their enslavement they follow desires and distorted reasonings that leave God out of the picture and, therefore, they are under God's wrath. But , the main point of Ephesians-- and especially of 2:1-10-- is that God will not stay out of the picture.

Klyne Snodgrass, Ephesians.

This is August?

2008-08-07T17:00:00.000-05:00

Cubs Game

2008-08-06T13:08:00.001-05:00

Not knowing just how much longer I'm going to be in Chicago it was
hard for me to turn down a spur of the moment Cubs game. We got there
just into the 2nd inning and squatted underneath the score board in
center field. It certainly wasn't the most comfortable game that I've
been to, but the excitement and the feel of having snuck in- which
trust me, for the price we paid there was no sneeking. But the W flag flew.

Sent from my iPhone

No Sleepwalking

2008-07-29T10:02:00.003-05:00

Exegesis introduces another dimension into our relation to this text. The text as story carries us along, we are in on something larger than ourselves, we let the story take us where it will. But exegesis is focused attention, asking questions, sorting through possible meanings. Exegesis is rigorous, disciplined, intellectual work. It rarely feels "spiritual." Men and women who are, as we say, "into" spirituality, frequently give exegesis short shrift, preferring to rely on inspiration and intuition. But the long and broad consensus in the community of God's people has always insisted on a vigorous and meticulous exegesis: Give long and close and learned attention to this text! All our masters in spirituality were and are master exegetes. There's a lot going on here; we don't want to miss any of it; we don't want to sleepwalk through this text.

Eugene Peterson, Eat This Book, p. 50.

Quote of the Day

2008-07-17T16:42:00.002-05:00

“I’m not going to lie: I used to smoke crack in there,” said one homeless woman, Veronyka Cordner, nodding toward the toilet behind Pike Place Market. “But I won’t even go inside that thing now. It’s disgusting."

She was talking about the removal of the self cleaning toilet toilets. (eBay via NYT via Gizmodo )

When Love Comes to Town

2008-07-07T11:44:00.003-05:00

I was sitting eating my granola and trying to find something to watch on the TV and the only thing I could find was U2's Rattle and Hum from 1988. It was shot all in black and white and documents their Rattle and Hum tour.

During that tour they encountered a lot of music over here in the States. One of the musicians they saw was B. B. King. After seeing him, Bono went back and wrote a song to play with BB. That song is "When Love Comes to Town." Phenomenal lyrics about what happens when Love comes to town.

I was a sailor, I was lost at sea
I was under the waves
Before love rescued me
I was a fighter, I could turn on a thread
Now I stand accused of the things I've said

Love comes to town I'm gonna jump on that train
When love comes to town I'm gonna catch that flame
Maybe I was wrong to ever let you down
But I did what I did before love came to town

I used to make love under a red sunset
I was making promises I would soon forget
She was pale as the lace of her wedding gown
But I left her standing before love came to town

I ran into a juke joint when I heard a guitar scream
The notes were turning blue, I was dazing in a dream
As the music played I saw my life turn around
That was the day before love came to town

When love comes to town I'm gonna jump on that train
When love comes to town I'm gonna catch that flame
Maybe I was wrong to ever let you down
But I did what I did before love came to town

When love comes to town I'm gonna jump on that train
When love comes to town I'm gonna catch that flame
Maybe I was wrong to ever let you down
But I did what I did before love came to town

I was there when they crucified my Lord
I held the scabbard when the soldier drew his sword
I threw the dice when they pierced his side
But I've seen love conquer the great divide

When love comes to town I'm gonna catch that train
When love comes to town I'm gonna catch that flame
Maybe I was wrong to ever let you down
But I did what I did before love came to town

Heima means Home

2008-07-05T17:50:00.004-05:00

I've been enjoying my Saturday with georgeous views of Iceland, augmented with the music of Sigur Ròs. They're music movie Heima is On-Demand with Comcast via Sundance. Combined with stunning HD views of Iceland, the music seriously comes alive. Below is the trailer (HD trailer.)

Happy 4th

2008-07-05T00:58:00.000-05:00

Can you taste it?

2008-07-02T16:21:00.006-05:00

I can.

Post Sem

2008-07-01T11:14:00.001-05:00

Question: Mark, What are you doing with your life post-seminary?

Answer: Nothing. Well, nothing right yet.

I thought today since I have been repeating myself many times lately on what is happening in my life, I would let you know.

Probably the last thing anyone heard about me was Kansas City. I was talking to Kevin Cawley and Kris McGee about joining his church plant Redeemer Fellowship as an intern. After much prayer, we decided that it would be best for us not to pursue working together. (To be clear, there are no hard feelings or anything of that matter. If you're in KC, I would highly recommend joining them.)

In March or April, my pastor at Grace Chicago, Bob Reid, and I started talking. He introduced me to a few people in the Reformed Church in America (RCA). In May, I met a couple men that are in charge of church revitalization in the Chicago classis. We started talking about two churches in the Chicago area that need revitalization. These conversations were extremely excited. We planned to have everything tied up by the end of June.

But the situation has proven more difficult than expected. The classis had to meet last week to be able to vote on taking over the church, which sounds extreme, until you find out the worship attendance has shrunk from 80 in May to 32 at last count. However, they were one person shy of a corum and nothing has happened.

Now the next meeting has been scheduled for the 21st of July, which right now is three weeks out. This has changed a bunch of my summer plans. I'm not going to Costa Rica like I had planned or hoped. I may be able to go back to Tulsa though for the third time in three months.

Everyone's frustrated by this, not just me. And we're not completely sure what God is doing in this time, or with the church, but we are trusting that we are doing his will. So be praying that God would move his hand, before I have to move!

Ephesians & Revelation

2008-06-30T23:14:00.002-05:00

Words play an interesting place in our language as we use them to communicate and miscommunicate with those around us. Klyne always said that words are verbal symbols that have meaning made out of their relation to one another. One way of exegeting passages of Scripture is by counting how often specific words are used. Wordle does that for us now and presents it in an eye-pleasing way. The first picture above is Ephesians and the second is Revelation.

Go check out Wordle if you haven't already.

Friday Photo

2008-06-20T19:04:00.002-05:00

red barn, originally uploaded by notashamed.

While at home in Tulsa this past weekend, my sister and I took a day trip down to Pops in Arcadia, OK. They have several hundred varieties of pop in glass bottles. Further, they have Dublin Dr Pepper. The famed DP that still uses real sugar and not High Fructose Corn Syrup. It's dang good.

My Photography || Flickr Friday Photo

Photo Friday

2008-06-13T18:44:00.003-05:00

I haven't posted in a while, so it seems apt that I restart with Photo Friday. I took this boy's photo last Friday for some friends of mine. This is my favorite.

My Photography || Flickr Friday

I'm Done

2008-05-16T23:04:00.002-05:00

I graduate tomorrow and today was spent finishing up the loose ends. Here are the first words of the last paper I wrote during my seminary career:

There have been many “F” words in the English language.Without going through specific examples, the thrusting of air between the lower curled lip in contact with the back of one’s upper teeth usually precedes the influx of air into the listener’s lungs. Perhaps no such word has caused as much damage in Christian circles as the following “f” word: Fundamentalist.

Now go read Marsden's Fundamentalism and American Culture.

Photo Friday

2008-05-16T09:47:00.002-05:00

Yankee Hotel Foxtrot, originally uploaded by notashamed.

Wilco has a great album out called Yankee Hotel Foxtrot and they have Marina City--or whatever this is called--on the cover. But of course, they have a lot of great albums out.

I took this during my long walk around downtown last Friday. I was taking photos of the homeless for a class project. One of my last class projects, actually. You see, I graduate tomorrow. Yes, that's right, me. It's something I've been waiting for since I was 4.

Oh crap, I just remembered, now I'll have to get a job.

My Photography || Flickr Friday Photo

Monica...

2008-05-02T00:21:00.003-05:00

It's the girl that you notice when you're in the airport, and just hope she's on the same flight as you. And then when she is, you just hope she sits next to you. And then when she does, you're not sure what to say! You borrow her National Geographic and she borrows your pen. And then finally when you find your [courage] to talk to her, the flights over, but you talk the whole taxi-ing to the terminal. She offers you gum. Gum. Then when she gets off the flight way ahead of you, she WAITS for you!!!

Did I get her number? Nope.

A last name? Nope.

Email? Nope.

Curly brown hair; brown eyes; half Columbian; sick tat; smiles alot; digs photography. Rather attractive. Rather. I said, "Rather."

Do I go to Rogers, AR to find her?

Friday Photo

2008-04-18T17:43:00.004-05:00

I got some new photographic toys this week. I ordered an umbrella to shoot my flash through so it gives me some beautiful light and a stand to put it on. It's made me very excited. The first photo tryptic is of Josiah Corner, a friend's baby. The second is me. I've been listening to a lot of music lately and this is very apt.

My Photography || Flickr Friday Photo

Last Week's Highlights

2008-04-14T14:53:00.002-05:00

A run down of the things I enjoyed last week:

A DTR that lasted a whole four minutes.
A chaplaincy consult that resembled Clevinger's Trial-- an excerpt from Catch-22.
Saturday's Lunch: Bacon Sausage and Duck Fat-Fries at Hot Doug's. Lest you be mistaken, dear reader, the word bacon modifies sausage. Oh, bring on the goodness.
Actually finding a research topic that NPU's Library had resources for.
New Running Shoes

And the lowlights?

The DTR that lasted only four minutes.
Not seeing my parents coming back from their cruise.
No one showing up to chapel Sunday morning at the hospital.
Missing Church, Sunday Brunch and small group.
Missing the Bon Iver Concert.

Photo Friday

2008-04-11T16:02:00.003-05:00

It's been a bit of time. Some new photos for your enjoyment. The top is a panorama of Chicago from the 23rd floor at the south end of Michigan Ave overlooking Grant and Millennium Parks. It's where our community group meets on Sunday evenings. The second is at the Chicago Invite Ultimate Frisbee tournament. My roommate Luke organized it and those are his feet.

My Photography || Flickr Friday Photos

Untitled

2008-03-25T13:26:00.003-05:00

Let's be honest, I can't think of anything original to call this. "Cheesus" was already taken...

[HT: Chris Rosebrough]

Old Spice: Most Powerful Deodorant outside of Mexico

2008-03-22T16:30:00.001-05:00

Here's all the commercials.

Photo Friday

2008-03-14T20:49:00.004-05:00

A couple photo's today. A little late I know, but I was on call at the hospital last night and then all day today. The first photo was featured on the front page of Chicago Public Radio Thursday.
Also today (14th) is my sister's birthday. She's 22, but you wouldn't know that because she's getting a bike for her birthday. I think. That's what I was told at least.

My Photography || Flickr Friday Photo

Keller in Chicago

2008-03-09T20:29:00.003-05:00

I was finally able to convince someone to with me to hear Tim Keller at the University of Chicago Friday night. My roommate's non-girlfriend, Kelly, headed down with me and we made it right on time, but were put in the overflow room. They had a nice video projector up and it seemed like the sound was going to be great, but when Tim got up to talk, the problems started. It was very annoying and distracting throughout, but I know the sound guys were freaking out about it more than anyone else in the room. Parts of the audio were lost, or truncated, at times, but, Lord willing, the message overcame. Oh, and they were using Macs, unlike another popular pastor.

In typical Keller fashion, he was able to come across winsomely and intelligently. He clearly explained that everyone is believing in something. Whether it's Christianity or Atheism, both are based on empirical arguments that have exclusivity claims. When he went to frame the Gospel, he did so in a very unique way. Instead of coming out and saying "here's the Gospel" or now listen to this, he first joked that "Now, I'm going to solve all our problems. And you can say you were here when it happened." Then he told us Christians to listen up, because he was talking to us, but he wanted the skeptics to overhear.

The Q&A was very well done, having both written comments and personal questions being asked. Further he answered very well, first deconstructing their argument and then answering them in a non-offensive way. One example: some one asked about the Christian sexual ethic. First Christianity has a way of offending someone from every culture. Jesus says to forgive 70 times 7, and we say "Yes, of course. Forgiveness is good." But then we question when sex is brought up. "Sex only between a man and a woman in marriage? That's crazy." But if you go to India, they say, "Yes, sex is only between a man and a woman in marriage, but forgiveness is a horrible idea. Vengeance is the way." But as Christians we are called to love our neighbor. So, in Tim's words, my neighbor who is Indian, I love. I care for him in whatever way I can. But he's not an elder in my church. Every community, he continues, has its standards for who's in and who's out. That's what defines a community. Christians are just the same.

I don't know how many people who read "me" know who Keller is, but he's the pastor of Redeemer Presbyterian Church in Manhattan, NYC. He just put out a book called The Reason for God, which I did end up buying Friday night. If you haven't heard of him and don't want to drop the $14.95 at Amazon, he has some great audio out there. On the website for the book, there are some downloads, but the three that I would suggest one listen to are from a Resurgence conference (sessions 6, 7, 8) he did a couple years ago. Further, Steve McCoy has a bunch of Keller audio on his site. And I just found, Veritas has his talk that he did at Columbia University.

Below are my notes from the evening, which may or may not make sense. Please enjoy responsibly.

Tim Keller- Veritas Forum
7 March 2008 UChicago

Doubting

Jude "Be merciful to those who doubt."
Matt. 18 "Please help my unbelief."

Why are people so skeptical?

The exclusivity claims of Christianity

divisive, narrow.
Yes, they are one of the main reasons.

Five ordinary ways people deal with the exclusivity claims

Hope it away

The Still Born God, Mark Lilla

The liberal mainline god

science

Outlaw it away

China-- just makes it more indigenous

Argue it away

deconstructs evolutionary thought

Condemn it away

It's exclusive

(I don't have this one)

Jesus: John 14
All religions are equally right?

Utterly impossible
Jesus says "I am God come to find you"
All other religious founders say "I am here to show you God."
Elephant analogy
It's not narrow to make an exclusive truth claim, everyone is trying to make an exclusivity claim.
Narrowness is your attitude toward people, not toward other beliefs.
Cultural claims are exclusive.

Tim's Suggestions

we need to realize our secular world-view as privileged
Christians need to recognize that we have been part of the problem, only then can we begin to be a part of the solution.

Moral performance narrative

Hard not to look down your nose.

Grace narrative

Christ went to the cross and died
A salvation that is accomplished in weakness can only be accepted in weakness.

"Have you ever seen an Amish fundamentalist?"
Depends on your fundamentals

A man dying for his enemies

Christianity absolutely atrophies when it gets into bed with power.
Cultural Biases

Sexual vs. Forgiveness ethics

Figure out which 2/3s of your beliefs g-kid's won't accept.

Friday Photo

2008-03-07T07:15:00.003-06:00

Foxy and Toy, originally uploaded by notashamed.

I don't have any new photos-- haven't been able to get out lately. I have been catching up with my readings though, so that's a good thing.

This is an old one of Foxy. I've been dreaming about and seeing Boxers all over the place, sometimes when they're not even there.

My Photography || Flickr Friday

In Memorandum

2008-03-06T00:07:00.003-06:00

I received an email this morning-- the first one that I read-- relaying that the first floor guys' bikes were stolen out of the basement. As I had my bike stored down there also and needed to do my laundry, I gathered my dirty clothes and headed down quickly. When I turned the corner and looked, where my bike had previously rested, it was no longer. I set my basket down and tore my clothes putting on sackcloth and ashes. I do admit to shedding a tear for my stolen bike.

Some of you may scoff and think, who cries over a stinking bike? Beyond the monetary loss, it held many memories for me. After my first bike that I had in college was stolen, I worked over the next summer and saved up enough to be able to purchase my Sugar. I logged many hours and miles on that baby. It was my primary escape when I was in college. It went with me to Colorado and carried me to and from work. I flew over the handle bars many times. But she treated me good. Her plush hindquarters allowed me to fly over rocks and roots with ease. I bombed down major sections of trail and she carried me to victory over my friends multiple times.

Since getting to Chicago, I've only ridden her a handful of times, but I always kept her by my side, knowing that some day I would have the opportunity to get her back out on some respectable terrain. And so in memory of my Sugar, I present the following montage. All the photos were taken in Manhattan, Ks my last semester at K-State, when Michael and Steve came to visit and I attempted "the jump." Steve, the cameraman, cut my head off in my second to last attempt, and encouraged my to do it "one more time." In the last photo, you can see the result of the "one more time." Good times, Sugar. Good times.

Storytellers: Pearl Jam

2008-03-04T17:33:00.003-06:00

Just last night I was recounting the story of how I got into rock music back in middle school. I can remember going over to Michael's house one afternoon after school and him telling me that he found some new music. He put it in his Aiwa and turned it up. The CD was Pearl Jam's Ten. Songs like "Even Flow," "Jeremy," "Once" moved me to be a lover of the guitar and rock. Pearl Jam is on Storyteller's this afternoon and Vedder tells the story of the song "Alive." Of how the autobiographical song and the phrase "I'm still alive" was redefined.

ER || Chaplaincy

2008-03-04T14:14:00.002-06:00

I've been meaning to watch this clip for a while. I didn't get to see the original airing of the episode of ER, but had heard about the next day during my CPE time. It's a very powerful presentation of actual needs that people have during their pain.

Speaking out of my own chaplaincy experience, I haven't been in such a situation as the above. It's hard, though, to know when to stop asking clarifying questions, leaving people to deal with their own theology and when to come forth with Gospel-centered, Jesus-saturated truth. Knowing when those moments are is difficult and if you miss them, in the words of Donnie Brasco-- Fugget about it.

I was pushed to that point last Tuesday when I went to visit a single mother who was about to lose her baby at 17 weeks, who, again, was conceived out of wedlock. Her poignant question came about an hour into the conversation. We were talking about whether the loss of this baby was punishment for having sex outside of marriage-- which she rightly understood as sin. She asked, "But isn't there punishment for sin?" "Yes, yes there is. But for those who are in Christ, that punishment has been paid by Jesus on the cross." It wasn't the time to ask what she thought; it was time to offer her hope in the midst of her pain and loss. It was time to offer her the Gospel.

Just before I saw the above clip I saw the below one. In it John Piper offers a much different picture of the Gospel of Jesus Christ.

Live Feed

2008-02-27T00:10:00.003-06:00

If you didn't go over to the Resurgence for their live feed for the Text&Context Conference, you should. It's a really great feed to watch. I caught about half of the Q&A with Piper, Driscoll and Chandler.

I figured out how to embed it here, for those too lazy to click.

The rest of their schedule (in PST) is:

Wednesday, February 27, 2008

10:00 am Session 10 – Jim Gilmore – Context: Decoding the Future, the
Phoniness, and the Shifting Sands
11:20 am Q& A with Jim Gilmore
1:00 pm Session 11 – Mark Driscoll – Text & Context: Preaching Jesus
Christ To Pagan Culture
2:15 pm Q & A with Mark Driscoll

End of Main Conference -- Post-Conference Sessions Begin

3:00 pm Session 12 – Jeff Vanderstelt - Biblical Missiology (Acts 29
Session)
4:30 pm Session 13 – Darrin Patrick - Leading the Mission (Acts 29
Session)

Resurgence [Live]

2008-02-26T09:31:00.003-06:00

The Resurgence is streaming-- and has been-- their Text & Context Conference for free.

Matt Chandler's speaking at 10:45am PST. He's a good one.

Go check it out.

Some Changes

2008-02-26T00:37:00.002-06:00

Today I've spent around 6 hours, minimum, working on my blog's layout, design and look. I'm trying to go cleaner and make it more "hip." But also more functional. I'm slightly satisfied, at least enough to go to sleep.

I would like feed back though. If you think something needs changed, don't like the way something looks-- too clunky, too world-wide-web (like the Compuserve days), too whatever-- let me know.

How much is your blog worth?

2008-02-25T23:04:00.001-06:00

My blog is worth $15,242.58.
How much is your blog worth?