Struggles

It seems like most of what I've been writing recently have been towards the negative "get my butt in gear" kind of messages. But this may be but another.

It has been real difficult for me to come back here and throw myself into the work that has to be done here. I had, as I've described it, too good a time at home. While I'm not trying to make excuses for my less than exemplary work effort these past few weeks, it has made me think.

I've been preparing for this team I'm leading since I got down here, doing so much a day and taking my time preparing for their arrival. I only have a few more things to do before they get here tomorrow evening. If you know me well, this may seem like a huge difference in my life and truthfully, it is. I'm prone to procrastination. I don't know if it's genetic, but it has run through me for quite a while now. This preparation that I've been undertaking has been against my normal ways of doing things. If this was a paper I had to write at North Park, I would be just starting on it, hoping to finish with a decent work in the next 36 hours I have to write it. It would get finished after working furiously, in about 48 hours and then I would turn it in for an average grade, some where around a B. But here instead I have about 8 hours MAX work to be done and that includes packing, buying some food and withdrawing an uncomfortable amount of cash.

It's also given me a lot of time to thought as to what my heart desires when I eventually get out of ceme... er, seminary. Missions? Not at this juncture. My heart is tugging towards the Church. To be a pastor, mentoring, discipling and encouraging. To equip others to give their lives over to missions, bringing people into worship of the King of kings, that their hearts might be united with Christ and His purposes in their lives.

But for now I must realize that God has placed me here for such purposes as these. And so I concentrate on what He has given me in the next months of my life, specifically the next hours. Pray that this team would come with open hearts and hands. Pray that their would be a revival in this community, Boruca, where we are going. Pray that those coming would not see their missionary-status ending at the end of this week, but that they would carry what they have learned back with them to the States and live missionary lives where ever God places them.

Emerging...

This is for all my NPTS friends-- it's a little rant-y.

I've been sitting on my butt for most of the day waiting for the pastor of the small, rural Costa Rican Four-square church where I, a young Oklahoman, raised Presbyterian, Baptist-ically formed, and Covenant-ly trained, am about to take an Ohio-based Mennoite church team to call me. The rest of my preparation for the team means getting my finances in order, which I can't do until the sheet is explained by someone who has yet to explain it. Both of these things need to happen before I can do anything else.

So I've spent my time: reading Seminary books that I didn't read when they were required-- actually enjoying them; watching MTV Latin America, showing year old shows from Laguna Beach: The Real OC, otherwise known as a bunch of rich high school kids spending their daddy's money and making big deals out of nothing; memorizing Colossians, Paul's plea to an emerging church not to live by the cultist pressures and restrictions placed on them by both those inside the Church and outside-- an interesting read for those denominations who continue to argue the homosexual position.

I was urged to memorize Colossians in particular at the Passion06 conference I attended two weeks ago now. The conference was specifically targeted at college-aged young people, most of whose parents probably payed for their trip (I'm not judging because I'm included). Sometimes as much of an American Eagle fashion show as a worship conference, it was one of the most refreshing times I've had in my life. My question is why?

Maybe it was those with whom I went. Piling into the car I really only new one person well-- my sister, Laura. Tyrel, a good friend of my sister's, whom I was still getting to know, and Lacey, a friend of Tyrel's, whom I had met just 4 minutes before. We all grew closer and were able to draw out the best in each other throughout the week, encouraging each other through spoken means and otherwise. We ate together; we worshipped together; we were stretched together; we joyed together.

Maybe it was the worship. David Crowder*Band, Matt Redman, Chris Tomlin, and Charlie Hall are some big names in modern worship. With a mixture of newly arranged hymns and cutting-edge arrangements, they were able to engage a mass of 18,000 young people to lead them in God-exalting worship. I lost myself several times throughout the week during the worship. I felt closer to God being engaged in a worshipful experience not experienced on a regular basis.

Maybe it was the speakers. They dropped the hammer with people like John Piper, Beth Moore and Louie Giglio-- people who swim in the Word of truth; those who exhalt God, not their own agendas; people who speak of suffering; who speak of feasting on the Word; who push even those not called to professional ministry to live lives of excellence glorifying God where ever they are called.

And maybe that's where the difference came along. Not in the fellowship, worship or teaching, but in what was taught. Living a life of excellence. That really grabbed on to me. Have I been living a life of excellence according to Colossians 3:23, 24? Am I "working heartily" as I sit here on the couch where I have been for the last few hours, watching TV and reading books that were required to be read a year ago? Is my life a "living sacrifice, holy and pleasing to God" (Romans 12:1)?

Turning the Corner

It has been a while since I've written, so I'll try to sum up the past two months succintly and give a preview of what I'll be doing in the months to come as I turn this corner to the second half of my time in Costa Rica.

The last month or so that I was in Costa Rica before I went home, I spend most of my time bettering the office. We needed to do some painting to make the place presentable to teams when they start to come early this new year. I also learned how to dry wall a wall, which was something I enjoyed learning to do very much actually.

I headed home to Tulsa the 16th of Decemeber, where my family met me at the airport before we began eating. Boutique chocolate, homemade cookies, Christmas crown roast; it was all wonderful! I spent a week in Tulsa getting my Christmas shopping started and ended, before we went through Kansas for my grandfather's birthday, Christmas Eve and Christmas Day. We returned for our immediate family's Christmas the 26th. One of the most amazing things my mom made my sister and me was a book on the 12 days of Christmas with the reasons why she loves us. She put too much work into it and it showed-- it was beautiful.

I spent the new years with my parents, before heading out to Nashville on the 1st with my sister, Tyrel Lacy, and Lacey Leifeste for the Passion06 conference. It was a wonderful week. David Crowder* Band, Matt Redman, Chris Tomlin, Charlie Hall and Christy Nockles were all there leading worship. Louis Giglio, John Piper and Beth Moore spoke. It was a wonderfully refreshing time to grow with friends and the Lord.

We moved Laura back in at the ChiO house at OSU and I got to be upstairs! I left Tulsa two days later on Tuesday. I've been trying to get back into the flow of things here in Costa Rica. It's been somewhat difficult after having such a wonderful time at home.

I have a team coming down the 28th of January. I have a lot of prep work to do for them with finances and reservations.

Prayer Points:
1. Pray for my transition back into Costa Rica, the culture, the language.
2. Pray for the Troyer team and their time in preparation and here.
3. Continue to pray for my advancement in the Lord and the knowledge of Him.

Thank you so much for all your support, prayerfully and financially. With a few added gifts over the break, I became fully funded for my year down here. Praise God.

Grace and Peace.

The Original 

Road Trip!!!

"Yeah, you better give me the insurance, because I'm gonna beat the hell out of this car." -Jerry Seinfeld

Tuesday morning, Carlos, a tico missionary with CFCI, Joe Yoder, a former Amish boy and missionary with CFCI, and myself started our trip to the border of CR and Panama to visit some pastors to be able to possibly take teams to their churches in the future. We had planned to visit a guy on the way down, a bunch of churches on Wednesday and head back on Thursday.

We arrived at Economy Rent A Car at 7 in the morning to pick up our Toyota Yaris. It's a small car and we had hoped for a 4x4, but they didn't have any available. After a quick stop at Burger King for breakfast we headed out of town.

Let me take this opportunity to explain something about the roads in Costa Rica. There not the greatest. This conclusion does not come because of their curviness nor because of the fact that they're two lanes. This can be stated because they have large holes in the middle of the road. So one is driving along and all the sudden one must slam on their brakes, pass over into the other lane of oncoming traffic to avoid what would rival the Grand Canyon. It's destiny to hit a hole every 5 minutes. And so unlike the States where you can set your cruise control and practically fall asleep at the wheel, here in Costa Rica driving is a very active activity. I drove the entire week and as if I needed to say it, I hit some holes.

Most of the pastors that we visited were off the beaten path. The first being a good 20 km, or about 13 miles on a dirt and rock "road". I felt a bit like a Rally Car driver avoiding the big holes. And my mountain biking skills came into play as I had to pick the correct line to avoid the big rock that would most certainly break something on the car. The visit with the pastor went well and for the size of church that he has, God is doing great things. A wonderful place to send a team.

On our way out, it was raining, but the road I knew and the water helped to slid the car over most of the treacherous spots. But then with no warning, the front passenger shock went out. After figuring there was nothing we could do about it right there, we decided to continue on. Most of the ride was fine except when we hit the unavoidable canyons. We called the Economy when we had the chance, but there was little they could do at that moment. After 15 minutes went by we decided we had to continue. Still about an hour out, the brakes and power steering went out. Luckily it was a standard, so I could slow by down shifting and plus there was the hand brake. Not knowing the road there we hit more bumps and flew over some invisible speed bumps, but eventually we were able to make it to Paso Canoas, our destination, safely enough.

We called Economy once again and they said they would send a new car early the next morning so they would get there by 10 am. We passed the night by and slept in a little in the morning. However come 10, they were not there. Double checking we decided to call again. "No we don't have any record of you needing a new car." AHG!!! Finally, at 11 they left San Jose. Our whole day would be shot. For the next few hours we sat around the hotel, sleeping, reading and watching TV. Around 2 we left for lunch, during which we decided that we should visit with the pastor there in Paso Canoas. We were able to check out his church and then he took us to see another pastor well off the beaten path. This pastor is in his last years. He's been planting churches for the Four Square denomination for his entire pastorship. And he admitted that while he's willing to do whatever San Jose tells him he's to do, he feels that this will be his last church. It was very encouraging to hear this pastor speak of his life dedicated to the Lord's work.

After a dinner of ice cream, I was sent back to the hotel to wait for the car, while Carlos and Joe went to a church for a service. Finally at 8 the car showed up. I headed to the church and was able to hear of Carlos' testimony of how God took him from teaching English and in a matter of weeks took him into leading short-term teams with Christ for the City. Later that night we grabbed a real dinner.

Thursday was not a total loss. After taking a short trip to Golfito to check out the Tax-Free Zone, we headed back and were able to find some pastors available for us to visit. We drove out around the country-side and flirted with the Costa Rican-Panamanian border, eventually getting to visit a total of three pastors.

Friday, we had another adventure. Even though we had passed through the police checkpoints several times in the last few days, today was a little more difficult-- they asked for my passport, which I had left in San Jose. I had to go back to immigration in Paso Canoas. The issue arose that I have been here for 4 months, which means my visa had expired a month ago.

"Estás ilegal." You're illegal.

"Sí." Yeah.

"Ilegal." Illegal.

"Oh." They wanted to deport me-- right then and there.

Um, there's no fine or anything I can pay?

Nope, the law changed. You have to stay here until your passport arrives tomorrow morning.

How 'bout this: Can I return to San José, get my passport and some things, before I leave?

Well, yeah, I guess you could do that.

(Deep sigh of relief.) About 5 more minutes and I was a free man again. They gave me a note that would allow me to get through the checkpoints, but said I had to report back to the border on Monday. In reality, all I have to do is leave the country-- I can go to Nicaragua, Panama, Cuba, or the States. However I'm headed out to Panama City to spend some time with the CFCI base there.

Back on the road we were able to interview another 11 pastors before heading the rest of the way to San José. Once there we still had to fight it out with Economy about the first car they rented us. They're claiming that the damage was some how our fault and so far they have not released the vouchers that have my card on them. Hopefully this will be resolved shortly, without too many problems.

We were able to interview a total of 17 pastors and easily we will be able to send teams to at least 14 of them. Overall we had a very successful, adventurous trip.

Poster Child

Robby, with whom I live, got baptized about a month ago and I was in charge of documenting the whole thing. Robby was the last one to be baptized that day and as the pastor was praying I continued to snap away. Robby's dad, Ramesh, is a professor at Dallas Theological Seminary and does a lot of preaching around the world. These are the posters that are going up all around the world, and the picture of the young man in the corner is Robby, and it's a picture that I took-- one of my personal favorites too. I'm hoping to get the raw image to post too. I'm kinda excited about the whole thing.

And again in black and white.

Jeremiah 17:14

"Heal me, O Lord, and I shall be healed; save me, and I shall be saved, for you are my praise."

About Friday night as I was going to bed I was feeling a little hot, so I checked my temperature and it was like 100.5 or something just to make me a little miserable. So I took some stuff on Saturday morn when I got, cause it was still there, and it wore off by noon. Well we had a bunch of people over that night and I started feeling sick again. Well I ended going up to bed about 10. Well I kept hearing the people running around and somebody ran into my door, I was thinking it was like 3, 4 in the morning, but when I checked the clock it was only 12:30. I started to take my temperature about every two hours and it went up a degree at each check. At one point through out the night I began to pray and spent about an hour solid in prayer. I called my dad over Gtalk at about 5 and he actually answered. We looked at a bunch of stuff and thought it was possibly dengue, but who knew. I took a cold shower and went back to bed. Woke up for breakfast but went back to bed afterwards.

I began to take Excedrin every 4-6 hours. I spent most of the day in my room and my fever rose and broke all day. My body ached, my head hurt, not too bad, but I when my fever would rise again, I would get really violent chills. Finally I went to the doctor after my fever broke on Monday morning. Sunday night had been pretty bad, rising and falling. The doctor worked me in and had me take some tests. But by the time I was leaving I was having the chills again. I had them really bad when I got back, so I took a 750mg tylex (Tylenol) and slept for a couple of hours, no break. When the four hours had gone by I took another one. An hour later, still no break. So I went ahead and took some more Excedrin.

Shortly my fever broke, but I was still a bit miserable. I had about half a bowl of soup for dinner, really the first thing since breakfast on Sunday, besides an apple or a banana here and there. I was feeling good, and since I had slept most of the day, I stayed up and watched the football game. But as I went back upstairs and was getting ready for bed, aside from the a little too many drugs in your system uneasiness, I began to get the chills again. I shook, rather violently at times and constantly for over an hour and a half. My teeth hurts, my body was sore from shaking. By then it was time for more medicine so I popped two more Excedrin and eventually fell asleep... for an hour. Throughout the night I laid in bed, listened to a John Piper talk and prayed and eventually got to sleep.

I was up at about 4 or 5 though, had a cold shower and some more meds. Most of the morning I was just watching TV, fever up and down. It started to go back up around 11, I took my last Excedrin and slept for an hour. I started calling the doctor at 12 for my test results, as he told me, but didn't hear anything until about 3:30, when I woke up with a 105.4 fever and, literally, a blinding headache. I had gotten a call earlier to tell me that I had an appointment with another Dr at 5:30. But I took an ice cold shower, got dressed and told Orlando that I needed to go to the hospital now! He dropped me off and I waited another hour and 15 minutes before the doctor was able to see me, about 5:50 or so.

They're still unsure with what I have, the blood tests came back negative on Mono, Dengue, and a couple other things. Dengue can be elusive though, so I'm back in for tests on Monday, but he couldn't rule out just a bacterial infection, plus I don't have all the classic signs of dengue, so he sent me home with an antibiotic. My head was still pounding and the taxi--yeah, I had to take a taxi home. I got home and told Kellie the results and climbed into bed. They were leaving, so when I woke up in an hour my head was pounding, fever seeming to still rise, chills, and my stomach was upset. I called and talked to my dad several times, ate a banana, laid around all over the house, took a cold shower, couldn't find anything that would take an edge off. It was getting beyond what I could handle. I cried out for God to heal me. I begged for mercy and grace. How was I supposed to be hydrated if I couldn't even keep water down? I called Carlos, another missionary here on the STM team, and asked him to bring me some Dramamine and Gatorade. My family got back shortly checked on me and went back to other things. I was really just laying in bed wasting away, hoping that relief would come. Carlos showed up about 40 minutes after I called him and delivered. Plus he prayed for me, which was actually the first person to do that for me in my presence. I believe I rolled back over after he left and wasted away for a little bit longer before I drank the Gatorade. I was able to hold that down. I can't even remember though if I slept at all that night. It seems I was awake, or between awake and asleep most of the night.

About 3:30 in the morning I took the the hypothesis that clung to the third ingredient in Excedrin, which I had stopped taking over 16 hours earlier. Excedrin is: Acetaminophen (Tylenol), aspirin, and caffeine. Well after being regimented every four hours for 48 hours, I reasoned I was coming off a serious caffeine high. So at 3:45 in the morning I went downstairs refilled my water, loaded a cup of ice, and grabbed a can of DP. I actually was able to hold that down. Several times through the night I had tried to take some more medicine, or drink some water and it just came back up. Just before 5 I went back downstairs to try to get something in my stomach so I could get some medicine in there. I had worked my way around an apple, before it was back in the sink, along with the water. Frustrated I went back to bed, took the Dramamine and actually, finally slept for about 2 hours.

When I woke up I still had the headache, but it was subsiding. I called my dad again, tried to take some more medicine, but it came right back up. That continued a few times though out the day. Anytime I tried to put medicine into me, I threw up. Around 10 I went downstairs to try to eat. Not too successful. I laid on the couch, watched a little TV and tried not to die. That was my goal through out most of the week-- Don't Die. One of the issues with dengue is that there is the possible risk of hemorrhaging, so taking ibuprofen, which impedes blood clotting, is kinda dangerous, but around noon my headache was still so strong, I decided to take the risk. I slept through lunch and when I woke up my headache had subsided to a reasonable degree, plus my fever had come down to a bearable 102.

It was mid afternoon when I got up to use the bathroom and Robby was on the phone with someone who had called for me. This lady wanted me to come to some clinic to take some dengue tests. I was still in pain, and had no desire to go anywhere, but the "john" and back to bed. My brain wasn't even clicking fully to know half of what she said. She kept talking and talking, and finally, after thinking about just hanging up on her, I told her I wasn't going anywhere, thank you and good day. I used the restroom and returned to bed. I woke back up around 7 when Kellie got home and checked on me. As I laid there talking to her, I realized my headache had continued to recede and that I was soaking wet, a very good sign. I took my temperature. It was normal. I showered, went downstairs and talked to Kellie for a little while and had a small dinner. The first substantial food in my belly since Monday night. I drank some waters and watched some TV. When I tried to go to bed, around 11 I still wasn't near tired, so after laying there for a sufficient amount of time, I went back downstairs grabbed refilled my water and watched a good couple of hours of television. About 3:30 I went back up to bed, fell asleep and didn't wake up till after 9--the longest continual sleep I had since Friday night.

Fever subsided, and head just sore, I went downstairs, poured another glass of water and grabbed a banana. Just as I go to sit down on the couch, the phone rings. The man on the other end knows who I am, but I'm not sure of who he is-- most of the people that know me here are in a meeting. He's explaining somethings and I'm picking up most, but misunderstanding that some one wants me to go some where and I don't know what, but in reality the people that called me yesterday came by to conduct an interview with me. How long's this going to take? Five minutes. Okay. It turns out that they're like the national health peoples here and they're trying to keep a close watch on all dengue cases. But it was still puzzling because I have only about half of the classic symptoms, and as of yet no body knows what I have. She left a number where I could call later and left.

Most of today has been watching movies on TV and eating something. I ate lunch with everybody and didn't sleep at all today. Had dinner too. I'm still fatigued; it is kinda like my body went through a 5 day Point-of-Death Challenge.

I'll take it easy through the weekend and hopefully Monday I'll be ready to leave the house. Thanks for your prayers, even though you fully didn't know what was going on, very few people really did.

A Few Exciting Weeks

The last few weeks have been jam packed with fun, rest and new opportunities.

Fun. Robby, Emily, Darwin and I were able to get away for the weekend to Manzanillo. Manzanillo is located on the Caribbean Side, Limon, and the farthest south you can get before Panama. It's a tiny little town with sand streets. The culture is almost completely different from San Jose. Think Jamaica. The majority of the population is black and they speak about three languages: English, Spanish and Patua, a mixture of the two. It was a beautiful setting and just a good time to hang out with friends and explore God's Creation.

That following Monday I was able to go kayaking. We started out with a lesson and then hit the river for about 30 minutes. We learned basic tecniques and tried to get the "roll" down. This is useful for when you get dumped upside down and you can just flip yourself back over. No one got it down pat, but I had plenty of practice after the lesson. To start we practiced entering the rapids and then turning back round into the pool where we had our lesson. Every other time I went, I had the chance to practice my rolling skills, but never did I succeed. We were able to go through some real rapids and I was doing great up until the end when I watched the girl in front of me flip, and then I did the exact same thing. The day was pretty exciting and I was sore for about the next week.

Rest. The next weekend we, the STM team, headed south again to a camp called La Cumbre, in the mountains of southern Costa Rica. It was a wonderful time to relax and grow together as a team. Julie, a past CFCI missionary, lead us in some spiritual excercises over the weekend. We played games and read and got to enjoy God's beautiful creation. I was able to go out and run around on Saturday morning and take over 100 picutres. I found a great spot to take some time and read and just enjoy the stream running through the camp. I ran back up to the Chalet and grabbed my books. I walked back across the log bridge and slid down the hill to the river's edge. There was a big rock just down stream from where two streams met with georgous waterfalls. I had my backpack on my back and my camera in my right hand. As I began to climb up the slippery rock, I my footing slipped and I slid all the way down into the freezing water. First being concerned about my camera, I kept it above the water level, that went half-way up my chest, before, however, I banged it on another rock. Fortunately there was only cosmetic damage to the case. Then I realized my books. I had my Bible, journal and the book I was reading on my back and the pack was plunged under the water when I fell in. Placing my camera aside, I flung my pack around to frantically remove the books from further damage. I unzipped the pack to find that all of my books were completely dry. Relieved I placed everything aside, picked up my camera and decided, I'm already wet, might as well wade out and get some good pics! I stood in the middle of the stream on another rock and got some great pics. The weekend was great to be able to spend with good friends and grow in the Lord.

New. This week I started teaching English in Guarari. It's been slow getting started. There had been another person that was going to do it, but he just decided not to show up, and they turned to me to pick up his slack. Definately pray for me in this area, I'm not sure how strong I am in teaching English and the books I'm using are rather old and lacking.

The STM team: Me, Wesley, Joe, Kellie, and Carlos.